How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
