meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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