Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
