It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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