Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize