Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I bet he comes in French.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
