As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
