I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
