Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
im six kinds of drunk right now
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
