4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
