So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
