laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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