I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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