I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
