pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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