i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
