wanna go halves on a baby?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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