i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize