If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
