it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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