Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
