Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
