so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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