you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i think i have herpe
just one?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Last time i carry you out of a forest
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
