Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
