I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Randomize
