So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
