It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize