she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize