capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
