Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
