just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
