He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
