this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
