he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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