Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
