I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
