Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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