Buhtt sex?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
