i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
