I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
