does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize