Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
