he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
