we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
