oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize