Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
