Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
