i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize