I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Well I just put wine in my tea
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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