was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
