He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
