; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
