she smelled like a LAN party
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
