ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
