I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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