He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
